I am tired.
Tired of keeping expectations from people,
Tired of waiting for the good to happen,
Tired of waiting to receive even a fraction of the love I put out.
I am tired.
Tired of hoping that someone will appreciate me,
Tired of the constant rejection,
Tired of the constant betrayal,
Tired of being the last one on your list,
Tired of being invisible.
It's exhausting to have hopes that something good will come out of it,
When deep down you know it may not.
Maybe some people are meant to live such lives,
A life where they do everything right yet they don't get the happiness.
Pray, Manifest, Therapy, Medicines, Journal, Patience, Hope, and what not.
I have tried everything.
Just when things seem to go right, everything falls apart.
Even your happiest moments are clouded with bad memories.
Everyone will give their advice, and yes I will use it.
But it just doesn't work.
I can't seem to crack the code to happiness.
Is it money? Is it family? Is it a spouse?
Is it a child? Is it a pet? Is it luxuries? Is it fame? Is it me?
What is it?
At this point I am just lost.
Just numb.
I am not really happy but not thinking to end things.
I am on survival mode, hanging by a thread.
I have empathy inside but I don't really care at this point.
Have you ever felt a little bit tired of life?
What did you do? I want to know.
Maybe you can help me crack the code.
And get out of this symphony of fatigue.
This blog post is part of the blog challenge ‘Blogaberry Dazzle’
hosted by Cindy D’Silva and Noor Anand Chawla
in collaboration with Dr. Preeti Chauhan.
16 Comments
This touched me so deeply. I'm really shook to the core. I'm sending all positive vibes, energy and thoughts your way. I've been down and sad and maybe even borderline depressed. But what helped me was the things and people that brought me joy, like my hobbies (reading, travelling) and spending time with family and friends
ReplyDeleteWell said Felicia. I am unable to find the happiness code as well, so I keep challenging myself with new things and new ways of making life simpler. Sometimes, they are in my head and sometimes, they are in my environment, but slowly and steadily, I have come to the conclusion that happiness isn't elusive, maybe a snail crawling within us. I don't know how to explain it, but living in the moment is enough to find your tiny fragment of happiness.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! This is such a sad poem. I suppose the protagonist in your poem is working hard to please others. If they gave up doing that and instead work on being happy with who they are, it might help fatigue and sadness to be things of the past.
ReplyDeletehmmm... It's co-incidental that both our posts this week are on similar lines Felicia. A whole lot of us are looking for some guidance n some answers. I don't know what they are but I can only hope that we find them.
ReplyDeleteI am tired.
ReplyDeleteTired of keeping expectations from people,
Tired of waiting for the good to happen,
Tired of waiting to receive even a fraction of the love I put out.
These lines are the one which my heart is feeling at this moment. I am blamed for not doing what I am blamed for and that too my closed one... I am tired and my heart bleeds... all that I am doing hiding it with a smile
I felt as if I wrote the poem. I am fatigued with life. I am 60 and gone through hell but it never seems to end. I am looking for a good CBT therapist but havent found one. I am in utter despair. The anxiety episodes are just not going down. Every morning is a struggle. I am unable to write for the first time in 20 years.
ReplyDeleteThis hit me hard. Tired of everything is sometimes what we feel. I wish I too can share my magic pill but then I too am waiting to hear about it!
ReplyDeleteWell penned Felicia..your words really hit hard. I understand the exhaustion of waiting for something good to happen. It’s tough when nothing seems to bring the happiness you’re looking for, no matter how much you try. I’ve been there too, where everything feels like it’s falling apart just when things seem to be going right. If you’ve found anything that helped you, I’d love to hear it. Waiting for the next post eagerly 😊
ReplyDelete- Anjali
This is my life in words. I am an overworked, exhausted and overwhelmed mother. Let me know if you are able to crack the code.
ReplyDeleteA very hard hitting poem. One thing I have learned in my 70+ years is that you can't wait for someone to make you happy. You have to make yourself happy.
ReplyDeleteFatigue gets to all of us from time to time, and this poem really captures that melancholy of tiredness. I hope you can take some time off to sleep and relax, and find your spark again.
ReplyDeleteI hear you. Sometimes life gets so overwhelming that you want to press the pause, or better yet, the restart button. As mom always says, you have to find your own happiness. No one is going to serve it to you on a silver platter.
ReplyDeleteHeyy Felicia, I am up for a talk. Would you mind to ping me on whatsapp, let see if two of us can create a bond of friendship :) Somehow I feel, you need to change your circle..and in case you want to listen some goofy fun chats to cheer up your mood, you know my whatsapp :)
ReplyDeleteHave been there and it's a difficult place to be. Know what, when all else fails I always try to go back to my faith and beliefs. Inner battles are the hardest to fight but fight and win we must. Sending you lots of positive vibes and strength to see this through.
ReplyDeleteThese lines hit and tore my heart as they touched deeply. I hope the poem's protagonist is working hard to sort out things for her own good and try to soothe herself by reading or listening to music or whatever appeals good.
ReplyDeleteWe all go through similar phases. I hope you can pull yourself out soon.
ReplyDeleteNoor
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